Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

November 10, 2024

3 Tips For Learning To Drive With Social Anxiety

Learning To Drive With Social Anxiety

1 - Find The Right Instructor

This is the most important part of taking on the task of learning to drive, I spent hours contacting different driving schools trying to find the right instructor. I also knew I didn't want to go with any of the "well known" driving schools in my area either and more of the independent ones instead. I must of contacted about 15 different driving schools, with only a few getting back to me, thankfully one that did get back to me is the one who is now my current instructor.

I mentioned on the contact form that I struggle with social anxiety, and was looking for an instructor who could handle that and help me with my lessons, I got lucky that my instructor arranged a phonecall with me a few days later just to have a chat so he could introduce himself and talk me through what would happen on the first lesson. It made the first lesson so much easier to go into and meeting him for the first time aswell, knowing we had already had that conversation on the phone.

Most instructors will usually offer you an introductory offer, this is so you can both see how you get along together and if actually learning to drive is for you. My offer was first 4 lessons for £99 which was broken down into two 2hr lessons, and luckily me and my instructor have the same sense of humour and get on well and our lessons are something I look forward to every week now as they are always full of laughter especially when it came to reversing out of a parking space for the first time haha, luckily I've got a lot better at it since that first time!

2 - Don't Be Afraid To Ask Questions

If there's one thing I've learned from starting lessons, its to never be afraid to ask questions if your unsure of something no matter how small you think it is. I remember on my first ever lesson I asked about the little circle mirrors that were attached on the wing mirrors and also about how far away from a give way line I needed to be.

Honestly though even if you think its a silly question, I can 100% guarantee your instructor won't think its silly and will be more than happy to answer any questions you will have. Even now 4 months into my driving journey, I still ask questions if something comes up, and as my instructor always tells me "remember your still learning" and trust me I come out with some random stuff at times haha.

3 - Choose What's Best For You: Automatic or Manual?!

I did a lot of research into this even before I done my theory test, in one way I wanted to push myself to learn how to drive a manual car and take on the task of learning all the gears and clutch control, but then in another way I knew my anxiety would probably get the better of me. So in the end I decided that learning automatic was the best option for me and my anxiety, and I have since said to my instructor that if I had gone with manual then I 100% would have probably given up learning by now!

Automatic for me just takes away all the stress of learning when to switch gears, when to put the clutch down and also I have no worry of stalling the car in an automatic either. That's not to say learning automatic is "easy" in any way, there is still so much more to learn than just the gears, and even now I'm still learning new things on every lesson even after nearly 4 months!

October 25, 2023

Breaking My Goals Into Stages

When I started my journey to overcome my anxiety, I had one goal in mind: to make a phone call. I used to be terrified of making phone calls and would only answer when my mum or sisters called. So, I decided to confront my fear head-on and take small steps towards overcoming it. So I decided breaking my goals into stages would be the best thing for me to start with.

I learned that my fear of making phone calls was worse than the reality. People were understanding and helpful. Making calls became easier with practice. I started seeing it as a chance to connect with others instead of something to dread. I didn’t want to jump right into it and randomly call someone. The idea made me sick and anxious. So, I broke it down into three smaller stages. I tackled each stage, one at a time until I felt comfortable enough to move to the next stage.

Breaking my goals into stages were as follows; Voice Notes, Phone Calls and Video Calls.

Voice Notes – I started with small voice notes to just one person and they were literally a simple “Hi” or “How are you” and were never any longer than 5 seconds at a time, I would also never listen to them back to make sure they sounded ok, because let’s be fair who likes the sound of there own voice on a recording haha. I then built my confidence by doing just those for a few months and making them longer each time until I knew I was completely comfortable sending them to a select few people. Only then did I move on to the next stage of my goal.
Phone Calls – This stage of my goal was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do regarding my anxiety, just the thought of a phone call would make me feel physically sick so I just kept putting it off and telling myself I couldn’t do it. Then one night I finally talked myself into doing it and managed a quick 5-minute phone call, and I don’t even know what I was so worried about. I can now say I happily do phone calls with no problem to a select few people and hope to build up that list of people over the next few months.
Video Calls – This was the last part of breaking my goal into stages and one I thought I would never be able to overcome. It took me a long time to agree to any video calls and I’m pretty sure the first one didn’t last very long. Now I can happily do video calls to four people with no problems at all and prefer them over phone calls sometimes haha, my longest video call so far has been 6 hours.

Today, I can confidently say that I have conquered my fear of making phone calls. It may seem like a small victory to some, but for me, it represents a significant milestone in my personal growth.

Confronting your fears can be scary, but it’s important to take that first step. Start small and go at your own pace. With determination and patience, you can overcome your fears and find the courage to live a free and fulfilling life.

xoxo

October 02, 2023

Living With Social Anxiety

Living with social anxiety has always been difficult for me. It’s been a challenge throughout my life. After my younger sister passed away 4 years ago, I realized I needed to make a change. I decided to overcome my social anxiety by setting goals and working towards them at my own pace.

I am still nowhere near where I would like to be in terms of beating anxiety once and for all, but I would like to think I am making progress every day and taking it one step at a time. I think I have still got my original goals written down somewhere, which is always good to look back on and see how far I’ve come. But for now, here is how I started my “overcoming anxiety” journey…

What is Social Anxiety?

Social Anxiety Disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-term fear of social situations. Social Anxiety is more than shyness. It's a fear that does not go away and affects everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships and work or school life.

Information from the NHS UK Website

When my sister died suddenly, and I was visiting her in the chapel of rest, I promised her I would find a way to overcome my social anxiety. So, I always had that in mind as I headed towards my first goal. I even put the exact goal and person in a sealed letter that went in with my sister. At the time, no one knew who or what it was, and I kept it that way for quite a while.

Living with social anxiety is always going to be a part of my life, but it’s now time for me to take control of it, instead of letting anxiety control me, this is my journey, and I will be doing it in my own time, no matter how long it takes.